Ramblings: 19/12/2017

One of my worst experiences, being a complete introvert, is when I’m not in any mood to interact but I’m stuck in a public place. I either get rude or completely ignore people which would qualify as being one and the same ?

Like 4 o’clock in the morning at the airport. Nope I’m not talking, not even gesturing. 

It’s especially bad when a person sits next to or opposite you and desperately tries to gain your eye contact and you try your best not to. Which ends up making me look all kinds of crazy. Staring at the floor, at the pizza, at the coffee, anywhere but the person.

Yeah, I tend to be anti-social at times but it’s 4 in the morning !

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Ramblings: 3/12/2017

I used to have this fear of talking to new people earlier. Wondering what they would think of me, whether they would approve the way I talk, walk, laugh or even breathe. 

But, today I realised how far I have come from that shy kid. How much I have grown?

Today after my friends function, I had to work with his friends who I never met before on a certain project. I can’t really pinpoint what it was exactly, it could have been their cool (I mean crazy) jokes, or the fact that they laughed at mine and joined in when I laughed or that they were actually replying to what I had to say, but they somehow got me feeling so comfortable around them.

@thwe: you know how I get when I’m dead tired. 😁 Yeah, let’s just say I. Talk. Too. Much.

But, these guys equally joined in my banter, and we all had a jolly good time. Cracking jokes, while working on the job at hand. And obviously we did an amazing job! 😎❤

oh, and I guess today was the first time I saw a guy actually find a broom and sweep the floor without anyone asking him to. What a sweet, thoughtful guy! Like wow! Guys like that exist! P.s. I’m so in awe coz I wouldn’t bother taking the effort.

I love the new me, and I especially love open-minded, sweet and totally thoughtful people.

Worth It !

The best part of trying hard to change something in your life is when you get a positive comment from a dear friend.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I am currently trying to lose some kilos from my overweight body by controlling my eating habits while increasing my exercises which mainly includes cardio – walking/running on the treadmill, or the occasional walks on our beaches.

Yeah, I have cheated a lot on my ‘diet’, by allowing a few lot indulgences but as I am sure I will not be following this controlled ‘diet’ forever, I am keeping myself open to eat anything my heart tummy desires. Then, there are days when I don’t want to even enter a gym or get out of bed during weekends, the ‘gym-break’ days. 😁😉Those days include the days when my legs are ready to fall off my body when I think about the treadmill. 😁😜

I know I have made a difference to myself and am very proud of my effort till now, but what makes it all the more worth it, is when someone notices. 😊

Makeup anyone?

makeup-clipart-put-on-makeup-clipart-with-trends-for-putting-on-makeup-clip-art-black-and-white

Why don’t you wear makeup?
This comes from my dear little brother, who isn’t as little anymore.

You may find a little kajal on my eyelids and lipstick on my lips when I’m attending some event; or the full blown makeup on my face when a beautician is given full rein to do what she pleases on my face (that’s when even my own brother can’t recognize me. Lol).

But, makeup daily ? Na-uh!

There are some people who use all those different makeup items like – mascara, foundation, eyeliner and yadayada.
Then there are those people like me who just enter work with a natural look (sans powder, sans cream, sans anything).
Like look at the face that God has given me.
LOOK!
Have a problem?
Kindly approach God with your valued suggestions.
Don’t bother me with them. 😉

While I say that, I’m sure some job positions require you to be looking your best.
Not the shabby, just-got-out-of-bed look that I usually sport.
Being a developer has its perks 😉

Saying NO!

Event in office.
A lady from the HR tells me to help with a counter, I say, “Okay”.
She tells me to help with the coupon counter too, “Okay”
She later tells me to help in distribution of sweets, “Okay”
A colleague at the same time says, “Please help with photographs”. As usual I say “Okay”.

An onlooking acquaintance remarks, “Carol, Learn to say NO!”.

Gonna be three years now, guess I haven’t learned my lesson yet.

Ramblings – 15/02/2017

In the heat (cold?) of nostalgia, I message a friend, “I really miss you being around here”. I wait for 5 mins, 15 mins, half an hour and then an hour. No reply. Obviously the nostalgia is gone by the time she replies.

No one really knows how much they mean to someone be it – a pet, a close friend, a parent or a sibling.

Elusive me

“There was a girl who felt trapped in her shy persona. Every time she tried to share her opinion, it either sounded wrong, or no one lent her their ears. She was in search of an outlet to vent out her deepest emotions. The things that stirred her, the amazing memories that enlightened her. She found that outlet and she liked that someone out there could share in her happiness or pain. But that girl was sharing her emotions  and feelings; not something that she usually went out doling out to people on a normal basis.”

That girl is me – the elusive (at least I like to think so 😛 ) Carol. I think I should have called myself a lady 😀 Though I may have many things to say and think on this blog, I am reserved when you meet me face to face. Like my friend likes to say – I am Carol, a social introvert, comfortable around people I know, shy with new people and I kinda freeze when it comes to my crushes – robotic behavior. Exact copy-paste Thwe. 😀
So, meeting people with whom I have only interacted with virtually is a whole new level for me.

Lost in Limbo

As I said in my Who Am I page, I started this blog for me. Sounds narcissistic, right? To note down things happening in my life; things running through my mind and just commenting on random dumb things. But, recently I started getting obsessed about stats, number of followers and blah blah blah till I almost reached a point where I said, “Hell with this! Blogging isn’t my cup of tea.” and couldn’t write anything! I used to literally sit staring at the new post page blankly; having a good idea of what to post, but I couldn’t express it in words.

So damn easy to get forget your own motives.

Well, from now on, my blog, my thoughts, my words (as usual) 😛

Hope I remember that 🙂

The “me” now

Changes in a person can happen drastically and in a good way, once that person has gained some self-esteem or pride in one-self.
One of my most recent gossip sessions with my brother, Carchu ended up with him asking me a question that I too didn’t have a worthy answer for. He started with “I can’t believe you are so friendly now. You have changed a lot”. His question was “Why were you not this way in school and college?”. My own brother thought I was a strange person when I was younger.
I once mentioned to a friend that I wasn’t good at making friends. He had a shocked expression for a few seconds then started joking around saying that it was bullshit! If only he knew !
One of my previous posts was on change (Change is good?).
I have had my fair share of changes in myself. From being the quiet introvert who didn’t have anything interesting to do or say, to the introvert I am now.
From being stuck at home all day long just sitting around doing nothing to being so busy that it’s almost equivalent to not being at home at all ! 😁
All thanks goes to my move to Goa. I have experienced some of my most memorable memories here. Met some amazing people, who have been just amazing to me.
Sometimes being comfortable, wanted and useful also helps in bringing out a whole different you.