Friend: “you looked good today.”

I (scrunching my face): “oh please.”

Friend: “true re”

I (scrunching my face more): “what’s wrong with you today.”

Does any one else have a problem with compliments?
My friend did a good thing, giving me the ‘compliment’ after I was changed and back to my normal shabby self.
Well, I tend to go out of my way to look weird after I get complimented.
I sometimes scrunch my face even when I hear the word – compliment. scrunch

Some years back,

Colleague: Hey, good morning!

I: Hi, Good morning.

Colleague: Hey, you let your hair down today, and a new top !! Looking good!

I (scrunching my face): Hehe, thank you.

When my colleague leaves, I quietly wear my hoodie and tie my hair.

It’s like my own personal allergy. ๐Ÿ˜€

Yes, I do feel a little more confident after a compliment, but it tends to unsettle me and makes me overly self-conscious.

Psst… doesn’t that smiley look depressed and ill ? Tried to copy one with a scrunched face, from the net. ๐Ÿ˜€ I feel sad for the smiley ๐Ÿ˜€




‘It’s my birthday today, please have some cake’, I reiterated to every person in my office room; which basically felt like I was begging for their wishes. But the other alternative, which involves a mail being sent to all known colleagues (who may/may not know it’s my birthday) and then waiting for their arrival, seemed to be worse.

The doodle above was on my Google home page, which made me stare at the flames dancing around, for more time than required, with a huge smile pasted on my face. ๐Ÿ˜€

Birthdays are happy days, especially now that Facebook reminds everyone. ๐Ÿ˜› This year for my birthday, I got to cut two cakes, courtesy my godchild’s family and my office friends. ๐Ÿ˜€

Another year to fulfill wishes and learn new things!

BTW it’s my Godchild’s birthday today!
Happy Women’s Day!

Ramblings: 19/12/2017

One of my worst experiences, being a complete introvert, is when I’m not in any mood to interact but I’m stuck in a public place. I either get rude or completely ignore people which would qualify as being one and the same ?

Like 4 o’clock in the morning at the airport. Nope I’m not talking, not even gesturing. 

It’s especially bad when a person sits next to or opposite you and desperately tries to gain your eye contact and you try your best not to. Which ends up making me look all kinds of crazy. Staring at the floor, at the pizza, at the coffee, anywhere but the person.

Yeah, I tend to be anti-social at times but it’s 4 in the morning !

Ramblings: 3/12/2017

I used to have this fear of talking to new people earlier. Wondering what they would think of me, whether they would approve the way I talk, walk, laugh or even breathe. 

But, today I realised how far I have come from that shy kid. How much I have grown?

Today after my friends function, I had to work with his friends who I never met before on a certain project. I can’t really pinpoint what it was exactly, it could have been their cool (I mean crazy) jokes, or the fact that they laughed at mine and joined in when I laughed or that they were actually replying to what I had to say, but they somehow got me feeling so comfortable around them.

@thwe: you know how I get when I’m dead tired. ๐Ÿ˜ Yeah, let’s just say I. Talk. Too. Much.

But, these guys equally joined in my banter, and we all had a jolly good time. Cracking jokes, while working on the job at hand. And obviously we did an amazing job! ๐Ÿ˜Žโค

oh, and I guess today was the first time I saw a guy actually find a broom and sweep the floor without anyone asking him to. What a sweet, thoughtful guy! Like wow! Guys like that exist! P.s. I’m so in awe coz I wouldn’t bother taking the effort.

I love the new me, and I especially love open-minded, sweet and totally thoughtful people.

Worth It !

The best part of trying hard to change something in your life is when you get a positive comment from a dear friend.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I am currently trying to lose some kilos from my overweight body by controlling my eating habits while increasing my exercises which mainly includes cardio – walking/running on the treadmill, or the occasional walks on our beaches.

Yeah, I have cheated a lot on my ‘diet’, by allowing a few lot indulgences but as I am sure I will not be following this controlled ‘diet’ forever, I am keeping myself open to eat anything my heart tummy desires. Then, there are days when I don’t want to even enter a gym or get out of bed during weekends, the ‘gym-break’ days. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰Those days include the days when my legs are ready to fall off my body when I think about the treadmill. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ

I know I have made a difference to myself and am very proud of my effort till now, but what makes it all the more worth it, is when someone notices. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Makeup anyone?


Why don’t you wear makeup?
This comes from my dear little brother, who isn’t as little anymore.

You may find a little kajal on my eyelids and lipstick on my lips when I’m attending some event; or the full blown makeup on my face when a beautician is given full rein to do what she pleases on my face (that’s when even my own brother can’t recognize me. Lol).

But, makeup daily ? Na-uh!

There are some people who use all those different makeup items like – mascara, foundation, eyeliner and yadayada.
Then there are those people like me who just enter work with a natural look (sans powder, sans cream, sans anything).
Like look at the face that God has given me.
Have a problem?
Kindly approach God with your valued suggestions.
Don’t bother me with them. ๐Ÿ˜‰

While I say that, I’m sure some job positions require you to be looking your best.
Not the shabby, just-got-out-of-bed look that I usually sport.
Being a developer has its perks ๐Ÿ˜‰

Saying NO!

Event in office.
A lady from the HR tells me to help with a counter, I say, “Okay”.
She tells me to help with the coupon counter too, “Okay”
She later tells me to help in distribution of sweets, “Okay”
A colleague at the same time says, “Please help with photographs”. As usual I say “Okay”.

An onlooking acquaintance remarks, “Carol, Learn to say NO!”.

Gonna be three years now, guess I haven’t learned my lesson yet.

Ramblings – 15/02/2017

In the heat (cold?) of nostalgia, I message a friend, “I really miss you being around here”. I wait for 5 mins, 15 mins, half an hour and then an hour. No reply. Obviously the nostalgia is gone by the time she replies.

No one really knows how muchย they mean to someoneย be it – a pet, a close friend, a parent or a sibling.

Elusive me

“There was a girl who felt trapped in her shy persona. Every time she tried to share her opinion, it either sounded wrong, or no one lent her their ears. She was in search of an outlet to vent out her deepest emotions. The things that stirred her, the amazing memories that enlightened her. She found that outlet and she liked that someone out there could share in her happiness or pain. But that girl was sharing her emotionsย  and feelings; not something that she usually went out doling out to people on a normal basis.”

That girl is me – the elusive (at least I like to think so ๐Ÿ˜› ) Carol. I think I should have called myself a lady ๐Ÿ˜€ Though I may have many things to say and think on this blog, I am reserved when you meet me face to face. Like my friend likes to say – I am Carol, a social introvert, comfortable around people I know, shy with new people and I kinda freeze when it comes to my crushes – robotic behavior. Exact copy-paste Thwe. ๐Ÿ˜€
So, meeting people with whom I have only interacted with virtually is a whole new level for me.