I see someone walking towards me. Someone who makes me give a second thought whether to greet. So I smile and mouth out a ‘hi’. But, the person just gives back an awkward smile which obviously makes me regret wasting my energy.
In my brave effort to hold onto a little of my ego, I go ahead and try entering my office room but end up down right slamming into the door because obviously automatic doors like to irritate the hell outta me.
That too in front of the person I shouldn’t have bothered greeting.
Last week was a pain. A royal pain. Such a pain that I was regretting the fact that today came so fast. Today being a Monday. The start of our “work” week in India. Even though some people worked through the weekend too. cough
This week is beginning to look like it’s going to rival last week. But, the thing that always makes things better is when someone actually is forthcoming with their appreciation for your work.
After working with people for so long who just gave work without any expectation; my current teammates are a breath of fresh air? Just people who make me give my best.
Best end to a Monday workday is someone saying:
Take good rest! You are doing a good job! 😊
You know how a small para just makes total sense?
Well, regarding the one below, it was perfect.
Knowing someone who has been around since your childhood days, but still not knowing that person. Not really having that personal connection.
Like, he could be my father’s friend’s mother’s brother’s grandson. Meeting at parties or gatherings. Knowing what the other is officially doing in life. In developers terminology, being given the protected view into their life. Not totally private, not totally public.
Not knowing how to become friends, how to break into that private bubble, and know more than where they work. Learn what they want in life. Learn how they handle life so like mine. Learn what makes them smile, chuckle or just be sad.
It’s weird being an introvert but still wanting to get to know people other than those in my tight circle of friends and family.
What is that innate need to be dependent on someone? I am sure it is part of being human, but we always have that need to be around someone when doing something new or just doing something. The need to discuss whatever we have planned in the near future.
Watching a movie alone, it makes sense, you get to watch with your total undivided attention; but watching a movie with a friend! Now that would include jokes, laughs, discussions about the characters and mimicry.
The same goes with exercising, eating meals, dancing, working. (Except for maybe going to the washroom) 😀
The hardest part is when you are dependent on a singular person or two. Breaking away or trying anything alone makes it all the more difficult.
So, I started reading a book. A book that I randomly chose; like one minute I am blankly checking out tops on an online shopping site and ting! I want to read this book; so I check out some of its reviews, and my interest peaks.
I expect the usual drama, the usual oh-so-pretty, oh-so-talented and oh-so-attractive female protagonist and her usual rugged, handsome, charming male lover.
I don’t realise when I got lost in its world. In the faerie realm, I must add the adjective – beautiful faerie realm. Not usually being a person who loves fantasy, I like to focus on reality and would gladly skip the parts that the author has taken pains to describe in detail – a magical something.
Not this book.
I got totally lost in its world. Totally captured by its beauty, the ensuing drama between the characters. Captured just like a book is supposed to capture a reader.
The times that I have to take a break from reading gives me the Avatar kind of feel. My real world feels fake, and the world conjured in my mind by the author seems to be the real one. Full of magic and love. Beautiful colors and dark corridors.
I still have yet to complete it and find out who wins.😈
Psst… The book’s name is A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas.
Yes, apparently a YA book.
Those mornings when I wake up and a random song starts playing my mind, and it manages to be the only song I hum all day long; only song I listen to all day. Those are my best days. You can say or do anything to me. I will reply or ignore you while humming my song. 😉
Today I woke up with “Baby, you’re all that I want, when you’re lying here in my arms. Can’t find it hard to believe we are in heaven!”. Yeah, yeah I messed up the lyrics. I do that, put in my own words, not caring if they make sense or not. 😁😅
I’ll be singing on the stairs up, the stairs down, while having lunch, while coding, basically everytime, anywhere. 😁
So, today is dedicated to Bryan Adams – Heaven and the Cascada cover.
That moment when you want to just pull someone’s hair screaming
“stop being so smug! stop acting like you know me! you only know me coz I made the mistake of trusting you! stop acting friendly with all the beautiful thoughts in your presumptuous mind”
but all you actually do is look away and concentrate on something else.
Why waste energy on someone who clearly doesn’t care.
Sometimes the people you trust hurt you the most. Those that you expect will always be there are the first ones to betray and run away.
I know I promised happy posts but, life is not all happy. 🙂
Those outings with friends who just can’t shut up! They keep cracking jokes, keep commenting on things; so much that even you absorb the happy excited vibe. Like one atom is in excited state and it brings all its neighboring atoms to more or less the same state. That’s what happens. And in that state, you have no reason to look at your cell. Other than wonder, “Did I tell mom I would be out for dinner?”. Sometimes look around in horror if there are any relatives or neighbors around who would spread gossip in 2 secs like, “You know whose daughter I saw in that restaurant at this time, with 2 open beer bottles in front of her?” 😱😱 who really cares who was actually drinking the beer.
P.s. I completed 8k steps yesterday!! Woohoo! Didn’t really think it was possible. I thank my parents for teaching me how to walk, Twinie for our daily walks (where we sweat and curse in the sun), Da Tita’s and the almost-no walk on the beach. I’m so proud of myself 😂😜
Happy Ash Wednesday! 🙂
It’s March already! 😦
Earlier this did not bother me much. Maybe I was just amazing at ignoring it, but these few months it’s getting on my nerves. Maybe earlier it happened rarely. That a person sitting right next to me, with full knowledge that I am there besides them. Just me. But they are glued to their phones.
One such incident was when I wanted to order a take away at KFC. The friend who was with me said he would also accompany me. Then he added that we could have starters to pass the time. Who am I to say no to KFC? So I order my take out plus some snacks. So we are sitting at the table, we start talking and then in the middle of my question, he looks at his cell and boom he’s gone. He’s lost in his cell. My usual reaction is the bury myself too into my cell. But alas, my dumb cell’s battery is dead. The order is ready so I go to pick it up. I come back with the order and he’s still stuck in his cell. My reaction? “Come on let’s go. You can eat this at home right. Let’s leave.” The guy says, “You’re in a hurry?”.
I am fascinated by phones too! I really love those people who keep their phones away when they know someone is around. Yes, there are such people. They exist and I love them to bits. Atleast have the courtesy to say, “sorry but so and so is asking about something”. “Excuse me”. Or maybe “give me a minute”. Nope some people just dive into their cell and disappear. I wonder if they would realise if I just stood up and walked away.
End of rant ☺