Yesterday, we were looking at some old albums and I found a photo.
I thought it was an old photo of my mom and I but there were two different opinions about who the baby was.
My neighbor who was himself was a kid of maybe 8-9 years around the time when I was born was not ready to believe that the baby in the photo was me. He repeated the phrase “That’s not you” so many times and so fervently that even when my own mother said the baby WAS me, I couldn’t accept it.
Happy Independence Day to all my Indian brothers and sisters! 😊
Recently there have been a lot of celebrity suicides. As I am an Indian who follows a bit of both worlds, hearing the news of two suicides on the same day was kinda upsetting. One was Chester Bennington, the other was a Bollywood actress in an upcoming film.
Think about how we all strive for something, and when we don’t achieve that, we just give up; when all that is required is to bear it, let it pass because this is life. Life goes on. Something worse could be lingering in our path later which would make our current predicament look like a joke.
Actually the thought that struck me first was why would “celebrities” commit suicide? That it was fundamentally wrong. They have the perfect life! Money! Fans! And Chester had 6 kids! 6 Kids!
What other motive do you need to live?
I don’t really know what was happening in his personal life that he took such a drastic step but was it worth it?
There are some moments, which scarily enough occur regularly, when I think if I just have an accident right now, I wouldn’t have to solve that issue tomorrow. But, I can’t really do that right? There’s my Mummy and Daddy who would just break down; my brother who is much more emotional than me; my Aunt who along the years got attached to me; my cousin and aunts and uncles; my friends. Can’t really be selfish about our life when we are linked to so many others. We matter and like the countless LP fans are saying – It does matter.
My main point was supposed to be – we as humans will never be happy with where we are, what we are and what we do. We always have something hurting us from our past/present/future.
We just have to BELIEVE in our selves and push through whatever we are going through. Whatever matter you are stuck in right now, it will be fixed. Not the end of the world.
I am not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings with this post but these are my honest thoughts.
“Why don’t you wear makeup?”
This comes from my dear little brother, who isn’t as little anymore.
You may find a little kajal on my eyelids and lipstick on my lips when I’m attending some event; or the full blown makeup on my face when a beautician is given full rein to do what she pleases on my face (that’s when even my own brother can’t recognize me. Lol).
But, makeup daily ? Na-uh!
There are some people who use all those different makeup items like – mascara, foundation, eyeliner and yadayada.
Then there are those people like me who just enter work with a natural look (sans powder, sans cream, sans anything).
Like look at the face that God has given me.
Have a problem?
Kindly approach God with your valued suggestions.
Don’t bother me with them. 😉
While I say that, I’m sure some job positions require you to be looking your best.
Not the shabby, just-got-out-of-bed look that I usually sport.
Being a developer has its perks 😉
You know how in movies, when a character gets pissed off while on a call, he just hangs up the call ? I mean to show his irritation and anger at the person on the other end.
Well, here in Goa (maybe this happens in other places too, but I noticed this the most here) a call getting cut could signify a number of scenarios other than either person getting pissed off.
Either the caller is out of network so the call abruptly gets cut; or the caller’s credit basically just empties itself; or the usual reason – uhmm why did the call get cut? Heh? Network’s good and I have credit… why did it get cut? We sit and wonder…
So, my main motive was to elaborate on the fact that here – Even if you do actually get angry and cut the call, the other end may innocently think that maybe your network decided to die or your balance magically finished itself, no one would really realize you were angry. 😀 😛
Yeah, my observations are bordering on insane these days, including my scientific observations. 🙂
“I am driving back home via a dark road. There’s an old lady standing ahead at the side of the road. She’s dusting all cars that pass with some sort of ash or maybe sand. I don’t want that on my car. So, I stop next to her and say, Don’t do that! Don’t throw that on my car!
Looking at her face, I can make out she’s angry. Very angry. I decide to ignore her anger and continue driving to my home, which is just around the corner.
I look through the rear view mirror and I see the old lady still glaring at me. I get scared now, and somehow manage to mix up my gears. And the car splutters to a stop. I look back and see her start running toward the car, and the way she does that seems to be with her both arms and legs. I start fiddling with my gears, trying to put it in first gear. I get the car started and move ahead fast, with the lady still following. I turn the corner and head towards my home. I park the car, look behind and notice in relief that the lady isn’t anywhere in sight.
I enter my home, say hi to mom, and lie down on the sofa. That was a heck of a day!
Ting-Tong goes the bell!
I hear mom go to the door to open it and talking sweetly to someone. The next moment she comes into the hall. She says, Carol see who’s come. This lady was asking for you. You know her?
In shock I get up to see the old lady standing behind mom. The minute I see her, she gives me a wicked smile and then vanishes into thin air!”
That’s the moment I wake up from my sleep with a start, sweating and shivering badly. The more I think about it, the more worse the nightmare gets. Like instead of running behind my car, the old lady jumps on my car in one long jump, then jumps ahead of my car and then vanishes. Like she knows exactly what I would be scared of.
I look at the time. 11:30pm. Whole night to go and I caught an early show of my scariest nightmare. Tsk-Tsk.
Waking up in the morning (or rather getting shocked into reality by the irritating alarm), just counting the hours till I can sleep again. It’s like I am hoping that the hours and the day’s activities just completely get skipped or fast forward till I can go back to sleep.
I know, I know, I sound like the laziest person around. Yeah, I am. It’s so easy to just forget everything while sleeping. Forget confrontations, problems, bank work 😣. Why go through all that when I can just be lying on my bed, dreaming up a nice life for me.
Dreams are necessary too, right?
This is a fairly unnecessary topic, but I felt I should just comment on it a bit. You know the first time you meet a person, a stranger who you have no idea likes or dislikes what you have to offer. But, the first smile shared between two individuals brings to peace all the internal turmoil. Everything will be just fine.
A smile is the beginning and continuation of the most beautiful things. It could be friendships, love, or just a passing smile from a stranger which could brighten your day a little more.
A smile signifies that a friend isn’t angry anymore. That mom and dad are happy to see you bumbling around the house. While a sibling is discussing a mutual interest. A smile could trigger so many feelings inside.
Just a beautiful smile. 🙂
Keep smiling always!
Why does marrying into the same religion, caste and place of origin matter?
Finding a decent partner in this world is a greater chore by itself. Now add to that another huge chore of matching 3 main criteria – religion, place of origin and caste. Our parents must have broken some rules when they married. I know for a fact that my parents battled my grandparents to get married as theirs was a love marriage, when the norm was arranged marriages. Yet, my parents don’t realize what they are doing when they say that if we marry into a different blah, blah, blah, they will never be able to face society again. In the age of same-sex marriages, we are made to listen to emotional lectures (including sobbing) of not falling in love with people of “other” religions. If the religion is not a barrier, next comes place of origin.
It’s not that they have the wrong intentions for us. Not at all. They are only thinking about our future. When mainly the failed marriages are paraded to society, obviously our parents fear for their children when they want only the best for us. Can’t really blame them. I will “hopefully” follow their instructions (I fought for minor things and gave up, this would be a bigger fight) but I have made up my mind that I wouldn’t set any such rules for my own kids.
In the heat (cold?) of nostalgia, I message a friend, “I really miss you being around here”. I wait for 5 mins, 15 mins, half an hour and then an hour. No reply. Obviously the nostalgia is gone by the time she replies.
No one really knows how much they mean to someone be it – a pet, a close friend, a parent or a sibling.
“There was a girl who felt trapped in her shy persona. Every time she tried to share her opinion, it either sounded wrong, or no one lent her their ears. She was in search of an outlet to vent out her deepest emotions. The things that stirred her, the amazing memories that enlightened her. She found that outlet and she liked that someone out there could share in her happiness or pain. But that girl was sharing her emotions and feelings; not something that she usually went out doling out to people on a normal basis.”
That girl is me – the elusive (at least I like to think so 😛 ) Carol. I think I should have called myself a lady 😀 Though I may have many things to say and think on this blog, I am reserved when you meet me face to face. Like my friend likes to say – I am Carol, a social introvert, comfortable around people I know, shy with new people and I kinda freeze when it comes to my crushes – robotic behavior. Exact copy-paste Thwe. 😀
So, meeting people with whom I have only interacted with virtually is a whole new level for me.