My thoughts: Book: Normal People

Marianne and Connel are schoolmates, who don’t interact with each other at school, but meet up regularly; when he comes to pick his mother from Marianne’s home. They are from two different social classes, with Connel’s mother working at Marianne’s place as a cleaner.
After their meetings during their school days, they get close but soon break off their ‘relationship’.
This continues on/off through college, and the start of their work life.

My thoughts:

This book personally made me sad – frustrated and sad.
It is a really good book, and the author has done a really good job. I was hooked to every word in the book even when I wanted to just stop, and pick something light and funny to watch instead. I finished reading it in one sitting.
If I was so stressed reading it, how stressed could she have been writing it.
Overall, this is a really good book (like I said earlier). It makes you ponder on so many things – mental health, childhood trauma, abuse, self esteem issues and how all those things affect our friendships and relationships. How therapy helps, as well as having supportive people around you.

Things that I learnt from the book (which are not really the best thing for a pessimist (about relationships) like me):

  1. Love is not always easy (Marianne and Connel tip-toeing around each other, even though it’s so very clear they love each other a lot)
  2. Assumptions are BAD, talk it out or be clear with what you want (Connel wanting to stay with Marianne at her flat)
  3. Trying to clear your issues, may always not work out (Connel and Marianne talking about their issues at his place)
  4. Talk to your friends, especially the ones you are close to, get to really know them and their life (Connel not really knowing, what Marianne was going thru, half the time they knew each other)
  5. Having that one friend who involves you in their life, who wants to know about your life and sticks with you even though they do not understand you, your choices and the people you choose to surround yourself with – gives you a grounded feeling, like you have a lifeline in the dark (think Joanna)
  6. Realizing which of your friends have a good effect (Joanna, Connel) and who have a bad effect on you, helps. (Peggy, James)

… and I really hated the ending. Not hated exactly, just was saddened by it. But, I know – not all things end well.

Ramblings: (11/04/2021)

Some of the best days in my life, have been those, when almost every minute in my day are consumed in some task.
There is no single moment spared for doubt, speculation, thought, or worry.
Just task, after task, after task.
Coz when I have that single moment…
That single moment spared for doubt, speculation, thought, or worry.
Phew! I know for sure my day is done for.

Ramblings: 25/10/20

You know those moments, when you are expecting the worst, or not even expecting anything at all at that moment, but get a nice tight slap with a packet full of happy !

That sudden rise in happiness (sudden dopamine high?) where you just sit there stupidly staring like, ehh… whhaa…. how? with a smile gradually growing… :/ 🙂 😀

Baking a perfect cake, even after deviating from the recipe, and expecting a very dense cake!

Getting promoted, on the days when feeling left out in the team!

Scoring a lot higher than the cut off in some practise tests, when expectation was to fail! *

Getting a text from a friend, when I was not even sure she would remember me!

So, have I drastically reduced my expectations??
Guess my expectations have taken a blow from all the bad days.
But, the good days help in keeping my head up and mind strong. 🙂

* I just sat there refreshing my screen (at least 4 times), like Come on! don’t show me an 89% !! I’m expecting a 60% ! 72% is the cut off

Series review: The Good Place

Seated (L-R): Ted Danson (Michael), Kristen Bell (Eleanor), William Harper (Chidi), Jameela Jamil (Tahani)
Standing (R-L): D’Arcy Carden (Janet) and Manny Jacinto (Jason)

The Good Place starts with Eleanor opening her eyes, while seated on a sofa, in what looks like a waiting room, and smiles after seeing a poster that announces –

Everything is fine.

Michael invites Eleanor into his office, let’s her know she’s in The Good Place; and the rest is a hundred thousands of Bearimys, shirtload of forks, bullshirts and ashholes.

The series mainly runs through the lives of the 4 human protagonists – Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani and Jason, as they try to live in the Good, Bad and Medium Places. Michael is a non-human architect, and Janet is an infinite being who helps him.

This series aired it’s fourth and final season in January 2020, but the season was recently added to Netflix.

It’s one of those good shows that you shouldn’t miss, if you like light comedy and an amazing cast. All the characters evolved in one way or another (except for Jason maybe🤣) and in the most wholesome way.

What are these Good, Bad and Medium Places you may ask. Well, they draw parallels to our Heaven, Hell and somewhere in the middle.

I am cutting down a star for the occasional slow-burn, but I can easily say that – This has got to be the only series finale that I was satisfied with; I was neither left wanting more nor did I have a bazillion questions!

Great start, AND a purely satisfying conclusion! ❤

Ratings: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Pst… what’s with the Good Place folks anyway? 🤣🤣

Ramblings: 20/09/20

This post is more a reminder for me, than anyone else. 🙂

You know those late night regrets that you have?
The sudden flashbacks of cringe-worthy moments?
that I-wish-I-could-rewind-back-time-and-make-everything-right feeling?
and that lingering deep, heart-aching regret?
So, you sit and just let that regret simmer?

Try your best not to do that to yourself.

Regret is good… it’s normal, the best of us regret a lot in life.

Just don’t let it drown you in self-pity.

Choices you regret are also a part of who you are now,
even if they may not have been the best of choices.

Regret belongs in the past,
Think of your future, and try to be a better version of yourself.

Ramblings: (25/07/20)

So, I have a friend, more like I inherited the friend* because our parents are friends.
We don’t really talk much; maybe like 3-4 times a year or less; but when we do it’s not awkward at all, at least for me, because I have known the person for too long, and have been talking somehow from the time we were kids.

I recently came to know that he lost his job, which is really sad, because it seemed like he was where he was aiming to be. I found out about this after my Dad met him.

I have heard of the quote – “If they stand by you during your bad times, they deserve to be there during your good times“, but what about the other way round?

What if I was not there for a friend during their good times, am I allowed to be around when they are going through bad times? I feel like I would hurt their sentiments or embarrass them. Sometimes I get really confused, think “hell, with it!“, go and bug them anyway – resulting in mixed reactions. But, these are people I know and interact with a lot. While with the others, I just assume they have better friends than the pathetic, confused character that I am.

* I typed out “inherited friend”, panicked and Googled it, to see if it’s an actual thing, and Google (for reasons only known to Google) lists out articles of C++ inheritance. One post that catches my eye is an SO question, “Why does C++ not allow inherited friendship?”. Yes, why don’t you, C++? Why so mean!?

You can do it!

Last month, a work group sent across a mail asking us to participate in a type of challenge (they called it a Movement). What really got me interested is that it was involving me in something that I genuinely wanted to start during this lock down.
Go for a walk!
Yeah, such a stupid thing to “want” to do. But, sometimes I really need a good push, a little motivation in the right direction; to do even the mundane things.

The initiative was to walk 1 km everyday from the 1st of July. Today evening, is going to be 21 days of all these walks, and you must have heard of the myth (but the statement I like to believe in):
All it takes is 21 days to set a habit!
Hope I follow it, at the least as long as this WFH business keeps us sitting at home. Walks have been good for my mind; I think my Dad and Mom started this habit.

Anyway, I start my walk by starting my mobile’s tracker and mark it with that day’s target km. The tracker dutifully notifies me when I reach a halfway point. The best part of the tracker (which I hated at first) is that, when there are just 200 m remaining to be completed, it notifies with a
“Almost there! You can do it!”
It totally motivates me to go faster to complete the 200 m; and trend-wise too, I am fastest in those last 200 m.

Wish there were people hired to just blurt out such motivational statements once or twice a day; just to boost our energy. 😀

Work from home life

How you got comfortable working from home, all day, every day is nice.

But, how your family got used to you working from home is a whole other story. 🤭

For me, the first few days, when I started work, the whole house was quiet. Yeah, my dad and brother were always drilling something somewhere outside. But, inside the house no one bothered making any sound.

Nowadays though, they have got so used to hearing my team-mates voices and my continuous meetings, my family have just started acting like it’s a normal thing. In the middle of a call, as I am talking or a colleague is talking to me, they will come in and start asking me a question. Which obviously throws me completely out of sync. After a call, my parents sometimes ask, ‘Who was that? Lead? What was he saying?‘ or ‘What you meant by proxy plus?‘ The way they would have enquired about a friend of mine; or sometimes it will be, ‘Oh, is that Shweta?‘ or ‘Manish?‘.

My brother likes to exaggerate his sneezes and coughs while I am talking; and also tends to reply to my team-mates in the background. Like my team-mate would be, “So, I will be deleting this permission from this table“; and my brother from somewhere in the background or sometimes sitting at the same table, would go, “Ok-A-y!!” loudly. 😁

I’m assuming my team-mates are good sports, coz none of them have ever commented or maybe they just did not hear it. Thank God for bad network sometimes 😇

The days when my Mom decides to use the pressure cooker are the best days to portray what kind of amazing luck I have. At the exact moment I have to give my status, the whistle will blow. Like, “Hi Nazim, I was working on 1061, it’s almost done and…… Pssssssstttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt”.😳 Nazim understanding the situation goes, “Ok Carol, looks like you are working on 1061, and will continue with 1062“, and then the whistle understanding the situation shuts up; for me to say, “Yes, Nazim

… sent you a friend request.

That notification in itself (without even reading the person’s name) puts me into a slight panic.
Like, who the hell managed to become friends with me now?
I am sitting at home during the COVID-19 lock down; not interacting with anyone. I have generally (lock down being irrelevant) stopped bothering to interact more than the required amount.
But, lo and behold, someone decides: Hey! I know Carol, right? let’s send her a request!

Now, when anyone sends me a request, I try to register who or where I know the person from. If I hit a wall, I then start mentally running through all my 28 years chronologically trying to find the person in my memory.

Let me clarify one thing – I have been to 3 schools from kindergarten to 12th grade; plus there is my Engineering college and the last place would be the company that I have been working at for the last 6+ years. Doesn’t help that I “knew” a lot of people in each of those respective years. But now, most are all a blur. Like, was xyz from St. Joseph’s? or from OOEHS? Hmm…

When I was younger, let’s say around college; getting a friend request was cause for great joy. Nowadays, it’s more like – Kith zalle? Kith zai tuka? Kaam na? / What happened? What do you need? Nothing to do? :/

Then, comes the analysis of their profile. Oh! yup, xyz is from St. Joseph’s. Hmm… Oh! she got married. That’s nice! aaand got loads of birthday wishes! a birth date I don’t remember. Hmm… and oh! look at that: she models! But the point is – we haven’t interacted since 8th grade! since I left that school! what the hell is the use of an FB friend request, now? Proof that we were classmates at one point in our life?

Anyway, maybe it’ll make her 0.0000000000000001% happier, than she is currently?
I go ahead and click the ‘Add Friend‘.